Dear Fellow Citizens of Littleton,

It is 9 am on the 5th of July, so I thought I'd take a moment to write you a note of thanks.

Thank you, friends, for your concientious objection to shackling local legislation regarding the usage of blasting fireworks. I appreciate that you've made your point - from about 9 pm to about 1 am last night, to support and celebrate America's freedoms by breaking the law. When an unjust law stands, only the unjust abide it, or something, and I know that's what was going through your grain-alcohol addled brain at 12:57 a.m. when you let off your last firework. As it screamed its way into the sky (or my tree), I just know you said to yourself "God Bless America".

I especially like how *I*, the law-abiding neighbor who does NOT use fireworks that leave the ground on the 4th of July because they are illegal, has to stay up until the wee hours of the morn based on the noise and the potential for property damage. I think that's particularly neighborly of you, extending my enjoyment of the holiday and all.

I hope, this morning, at 9:15 am when I send my children outside to run in circles and scream at the top of their lungs because I've filled them with retribution-focused early-morning sugar, you recognize that they, too, are protecting their freedom to be an asshole.

God Bless America, neighbors. And God bless your hangover when I unleash my children upon it.

P.S. Anything I find in my yard from your jerkish displays will be returned over the fence. Kthanksbye.

Edited to add an update: It's 9:35 am and my daughter is currently losing her schmidt on the back porch. She's shrieking "LET ME COME INSIDE" at the top of her lungs. This is GLORIOUS. One couldn't ask for a better morning.