When America fell into World Cup Football (cough: soccer) fever a few months back, my husband and I tried to watch. Of course there was the issue of knowing nothing about soccer, but Americans, above all else, are sports people - surely we could watch and enjoy. Approximately 2.7 seconds into the first game, though, I asked my husband to turn down the volume, as I couldn't figure out what that irritating buzzing was.
Turns out, it's a wee little horn called the vuvuzela. Unfamiliar with the sound of the vuvuzela? Check out this little piece of footage. It sounded like an issue with the recording equipment. Or a swarm of Africanized honeybees.
Turns out, it's just a little piece of plastic, and while we call my son the Human Vuvuzela, that little piece of plastic doesn't hold a candle to him.
Before I became a parent, I anticipated all sorts of parenthood-y issues (as much as anyone can anticipate chronic sleeplessness or afterpains or nursing, that is). I did NOT, however, anticipate the significant increase in the level of noise in my life.
Children are the vuvuzela of this household. A low, dull hum that screws up anyone's ability to think clear, coherent thoughts. It is, I've decided, their greatest power. When a group of zebras is attacked by a predator, they move together and their stripes distract the attacker. When a group of children gets together, they make noise and completely annihilate any coherent thoughts their parents might have.
And my son is the best at this. He makes noise all the time. Even in his sleep. Still, God help you when he's awake. Then the buzz begins.
Of course, the buzz is occasionally interrupted by Swedish-Chef like insanity. Generally he saves this for the dinner table. Everybody's relaxed, focusing on their food and trying to have nice conversations that start with "How was your day, dear?" and then, in bursts the Swedish Chef.
Yet, I must say, when my family was out of town about three weeks ago (for five GLORIOUS days), I had the tv or the stereo on for most of the time. The house just didn't feel the same without my vuvuzelas.
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