Just a wee bit on parenting:

First, let me say that I love it. Let me also say I wouldn't trade it for the world. Let me also also say that I know how lucky and blessed I am to be a parent. When we were going through "The Great Suck of 2009", we became well aware of what great blessings had been bestowed upon us - and while "The Great Suck of 2009" sucked, it made me a better mom.

And I think I'm a pretty OK mom.

So, now, as a pretty OK mom, I have a few things to say:

OHMYGODWOULDYOUPLEASESTOPTOUCHINGME?

And

OHMYGODWOULDYOUPLEASEBEQUIET?

I ADORE my children. So. very. much. that I never anticipated the feeling I'd get between 3 and 5 pm each day as a mother. I think that feeling is best described as "Oh god if one more person speaks and/or touches me I'm going to set something on fire."

I had no idea the importance of silence and personal space until I lost it all. And now? Now I'd give anything to have it back *EXCEPT* giving up the things that would actually get it back. My kids. I love them too darned much to trade for silence and space.

So next time it's 3:17 and I'm screaming "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOULD YOU PLEASE USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE??????", I'm going to remind myself that I wouldn't ever, even for a moment, trade those nagging, noisy whirling dervishes for the silence that would be present in their absence, because in the 23rd consecutive hour of holding the baby 23 hours a day for 65 days of life, overwhelmed as I am, I can't imagine letting her down by putting her down. She needs me. The Budge and his constant vuvuzela lifestyle need me. And Monkeymoo? That girl needs me too.

So next time? A deep breath. Work can be set aside for awhile. My kids cannot.

And when I start to think I shouldn't spoil this baby so much - she *should* learn to be OK in the crib or the swing or the exersaucer or any millions of baby products, I will go to Time and read this article. I can't spoil her. I can't spoil them - not with love. I can spoil them with any amount of the physical objects that can fill the void between us when I say "OMGWOULDYOUPLEASEBEQUIET", but I cannot spoil them by listening. Or touching. What an incredible reminder to turn off the television and fill the silence with their rambunctiousness!