Picture it:

A two and a half year old boy is left alone in the basement playroom for 5 minutes.

What happens?

If your answer is "He takes a wire hanger, unwraps it from itself, and jams it down the floor drain," I'll give you a few points as that was Carter's first experience in the basement playroom. But once he's comfortable in the basement and the playroom and has gotten over his drain obsession. What then?

If your answer is "In his gorilla costume, he moves 6 empty cardboard boxes to find 2 sealed boxes underneath, opens one of the two boxes to reveal tons of newspaper covering kitchen materials, digs through said crumpled newspaper to unearth two shiny knives, and then runs around the basement screaming while banging the two knives together" you are today's winner.

And your prize is my son for one whole day. I'll be around all afternoon. Please call to collect. Please.