something profound about Lent and my life and our dual paths right now that seem to have merged for a time. I want this time after our loss to be filled with really amazing and powerful moments where we work toward a simpler life, cleansed of our bad habits, and are ready to open ourselves -- to Easter and a risen Christ and at the same time to another child in this family.
But I cannot. I try every day, and every night I realize that I am stunningly human -- with the frailties and impatience and laziness that makes me so. I realize that this is okay, I do, and that in the struggling we learn something. By recognizing those faults, I can rail against them -- fight my anxiety and need for control and impatience. . . and I realize that this journey isn't simply one of forty days but one of a lifetime.
So today, I breathe deeply and set my goals high: Water the lawn, chase the children, make some Kool-Aid, and take a nap.
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