How do we define courage?

My students are writing Definitional Argument essays.  Last week in class, we talked about creating categories using criteria - about how to define words by coming up with ideas that help mold and create those definitions. 

One pesky word students got stuck on during our in-class work was courage. What is courageous?  They were given four scenarios:  A stranger runs into a burning building to save a child, a parent runs into a burning building despite knowledge that they couldn't reach their child and the fireman could, a fireman runs into a burning building for that child, and a boy runs into a burning building for letters from the woman he loves. 

Which of these actions were courageous?  They argued back and forth.  One student quoted Mark Twain: Courage is resistance of fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.  

During our discussion we went a bit off track - we talked about Miley Cyrus and her VMA performance and Wrecking Ball video. Perhaps she thinks she's being courageous in a way - she thinks she's fighting norms and creating a new space for herself and we talked about that a little, though they all so thoroughly disagreed with the idea of her being courageous that we swiftly came back to discussing our criteria of courage.  

They thought that courage was when a person exhibited a mastery of fear while doing something that was honorable that was not their job (or that they were not receiving monetary reward for). 

The latter was a point of contention in class, as we argued about the courage in the fireman scenario.  Was he courageous, I asked? Some said yes. Some said no.  Some said "He's doing his job."  "A soldier is doing his job, is he courageous?"  "The first responders in 9/11 were doing their job - were they courageous?"

It was a fascinating discussion.

I wonder what they would think of this interview - of Malala Yousafzai.  Is she courageous?  I think yes.  

And more than that - in the wake of my discussion with my students and seeing this video the other night, I ask myself:  What criteria have I put forth for my children to teach them about what it means to be courageous?  About what it means to be kind or good.  How do I show them - through my actions and words - how do I illustrate for them the definitions of these difficult words?  

How do I work to raise a child who carries kindness and courage of this young woman?