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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Live Blogging The State of the Union

7:00: Children decide to stay up.

7:04: Children shushed by their parents.
7:06: Who are those dudes standing in front of the President? Lilly throws brief fit about gaming website we won't let her visit. ABC anchors cannot overcome noise of children.
7:09: Liveblogging begins. Carter says "Can we look at pumpkins?"
7:11: Prez: OMGZ guys. Gonna tell you what's going on. (Has he aged 27 years in 1? I think so.) Quitcherbitchin' because America rocks. Please don't hate me because I inherited boo from that last dude.
7:13: Economy: suck. (Geithner looks older too.)
7:14: (Biden reconsidering run for the border) Tim invokes last year, screaming "You lie." Lilly wonders why someone was so rude. Conversation ensues. Senators Palpatine & Amadala mentioned.
7:17: We do not quit. ("If you were running for President Daddy, I would vote for you." Says Lilly) We all hated the bank bailout, huh? (I am now being attacked by a sock monkey. "Sock monkey clapded for the President mommy. He wants to give us kisses!" says Carter).
7:19: Tim attempts to point out lack of bipartisan viewership to Lilly. Lilly doesn't notice anything. Lilly wonders: If you were there, would you be clapping more or booing? I'd clap. Carter wonders: Can I get back on your lap?
7:20: President cracks joke about applause. Repubs laugh. Or look crabby. Pelosi stands. Sock monkey shoots Carter with imaginary toast gun.
7:23: ABC camera scan of audience. Is that Montgomery Burns?
7:24: Is that Ben Nelson, Statlor or Waldorf?
Wait. Did someone say jobs?
7:26: Children sent to brush teeth. On their own.
7:28: Reading to children. Sorry, please give me approximately 7 minutes to read the Barack Obama book to the children. That's right, if you're going to brainwash them, you might as well go all out.
7:30: I lied. Lilly's flossing THEN brushing. It'll be awhile. Last decade. . . LOST decade. Well embedded plug for your #1 show, ABC.
7:45: Back. Longest book ever. Just in time for. . . DOH. Healthcare. Sigh.
7:46: Tim informs me I missed the President pushing for Community Colleges. Nice product placement NBC. Also, YAY. Keep it up, Prez. I loves me some Community College.
7:49: Did they just activate the shocking machines in the seats? I just saw EVERYBODY stand and clap to "Let's get it done." Or was that a "Get 'er done."
7:50: President just Bart Simpson, "I didn't do it"ed. Noise ensues. (Biden contemplates zeroes in "Trillion" and briefly considers "Brazillion") More noise. Lots of standing. Pelosi - is she twitching? She doesn't like it when her boys in Congress misbehave.
7:53: The President is going Bi. Senate said no to bipartisan commission? Following in the footsteps my my predecessor, I'll just take care of that in Executive Order format.
(Look, I don't mean to start anything, but I think Nancy and Joe are holding hands behind the President.)
7:55: That's how budgeting works. Oh snap! Snicker that, Stage Left. That's what we did for 8 years. Stage Left getting angry. Funny that the Right is on Stage Left. (Yes, I just Wiki'd Stage Left to be sure. No, I wasn't ever an actor.)
7:58: Stop shaking your head, Alito. You DID reverse 100 years of standing law. And I have to say, now my age old question "Where does the Supreme Court sit during the SOTU."
7:59: Earmarks online!! Say it ain't so!!
8:01: Neighbor calls. CSA is here. BRB, loyal fans.
8:04: Napolitano looks a bit fearful. Also, I'm not sure about this purple thing. Red is cool. Blue is cool. Purple is the color of a 12 year old's bedroom.
8:05: Al Franken is sitting with a bunch of military dudes. Is that Congressional hazing or a Time-Out? Or did Coleman sneak into the desk again?
8:09: Oh. Crap. Sorry. I was distracted by Facebook. Wonder how many pols are tweeting tonight? Saw a few just flipping through their crackberries. Lots of bipartisan standing, I must say. Clearly the low-grade shock wired into the seats is finally a reality. Lots of yellow in the audience tonight. What's that about? Angry about the purple or just making a non-Partisan fashion statement? SPEAKING of fashion: The Prez is cutting into Launch My Line's finale.
8:20: We don't quit. Diane comments: there he is, for an hour and ten moments. Moments. Huh.
(Poopmergency in the Fuglei household. Not sure I can sit through the postmortem on this one. . . )

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