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Friday, July 23, 2010

Dearest daughter, I love you

and I'd like to get to the bottom of why it takes you approximately 27 minutes to get out of a parked car.

The thing is, I'm worried. Is your sacrum messed up like mine? Have you suffered premature aging? Could something possibly be wrong with you?

It must be. It has to be.

Case in point: if I accidentally knock into the Lucky Charms box in the cupboard, you materialize at my feet. Your talent and willingness to run swiftly through the house and yard (often with a soundtrack, but I digress) is well known among members of this household.

So why, my dear, WHY is it a 27 minute exercise to get you to remove seatbelt and climb out of the car?

3 comments:

  1. For that matter, dearest daughter/son, please stop making ME so slow. I am perfectly capable of showering, getting dressed, putting on makeup, and doing my hair in about 20 minutes when you are not around. But that 20 minutes becomes 2-3 HOURS when you are around. I can grab my car keys, wallet, sunglasses, etc. and leave the house in seconds if I am going by myself. But with you, it takes a minimum of 45 minutes. Why????!!!!! Do you have the power to control space/time? We could put that skill to much better use, if you do. But for now, please stop before Mommy ends up in an institution. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously - what about kids allows them to alter the time-space continuum?
    Also dogs, but they alter gravity. My basset can increase the gravity around him by 43% when he wants. Which is a challenge if you're trying to either
    A: Lift him into the car to see the vet, or
    B: Get out from under him to answer the phone.

    P.s. My blog is http://infinitehaiku.livejournal.com/
    but often the comment thingy won't let me show that for some reason.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just checking. Delete if desired.

    ReplyDelete

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